Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Day 2

Ok. Yesterday went great!

1. Breakfast was yogurt & granola.
2. Lunch was some scrambled eggs with wheat toast
3. Dinner ( i went home and convinced the 'rents to cook healthy!) was halibut (MMM!) wild rice mix and corn. Man, it was the best dinner I've had in a loooong time. It was so good, and so good for you!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Day 1

Matt & I went to Winco this morning and picked up some stuff for the 30 day challenge. A loaf of "hearty grain" bread, 18 eggs and 10 no-fat, 90cal, ultrahealthymighttastelikedogdoo yogurt. (it's actually pretty tasty.) So I had some yogurt & granola, plus some eggs & unbuttered toast for breakfast.

lunch was some saltines and a bowl of Tad's chicken/corn/ham soup. Mmm mmm good!

dinner was scrambled eggs w/cheese and some granola.

so far so good. props to my roomie matt (on the same deal, we're partners in pain) who endured a smorgasbord of food @ the Rohrs (spaghetti, garlic bread, pies) and only ate salad. What a champ. Me...well I endured the offer of a chocolate chip cookie. That's about the extent of it...on to day 2!

Healthisize me?

Completely random here folks. Ok, so my roomates recently watched "Super-size Me." Not that I regularly eat at Micky-D's, but you know, it's freaky anyway. So this weekend my roomie Matt had an epiphany. Why not, instead of eating pure crap for 30 days, eat pure goodness for 30 days and see what the difference was? Well, being the friend that I am, and the silly phool I am as well, I decided to join him in his quest, and bring it to you LIVE ON NATIONAL INTERWEB-NET-COM. We'll be eating such things as yogurt, peanuts, granola and oatmeal, fish & chicken, plus other rabbit-food type stuff. We'll update you on what's going on, we're going to do, and how things have progressed healthwise (i.e. heartrate, blood pressure, etc.) and let you know how it ends up(certainly better than Supersize me, I doubt that the 'doc is gonna say we're doomed. :p Check back for updates!

Monday, May 16, 2005

kwik update...

Dryer is still broken, but I got my clothes to a laundromat (thx to tommy jones) so I have clothes. Now I won't have to run around naked. What a relief!

i might run out of clothes...scary thought

Ok so...wow. Both of our dryers are broken. Of course, they break while my clothes are in them, soaking wet. So i am fast running out of clothes. This isn't a good scenario, not at all. And it's not like I can re-use anything because they're all wet! ARGH! ummm...yeah, not cool at all. So unless i can make it to a laundromat...umm well I just might be...well...eek. It wouldn't be fun. So pray that the dryers get fixed, because I need clothes.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Evil, just evil!

Satan is vicious. Let that set a preface for the rest of this post :p because that's the way I feel right now! Last night was a lot of fun, had a bbq with friends, played tennis and went up to the park to have ice cream. It was a blast! But...for some reason on the walk home I just came under attack. Satan is so difficult in that way - he attacks you when you're most vunerable and at your weakest spot. On the way home I just felt worthless! It was so hard to see how, but for some reason on the way home it was me vs. the world, and I was a tiny, insignificant piece of human being fighting against giants. I was bombarded to believe that I was not good enough, that everything was crashing and burning around me - it was intense, in ways that I had not felt for weeks. I came home and immediately went to bed, praying that I would have the faith in Christ to overcome this - that He would strengthen me because I know in my heart that I am a child of the Most High, and to Him, the most important and special thing in the world (what a feeling!) But alas, in the morning I woke up again under bombardment. Luckily my roomate Matt came in the room and we just prayed for release - prayer to banish the great Deciever, Satan. And praise the Lord, banished he is. Take that. I can feel the pressing lies again at my door, even as I write this, but through God's grace I don't have to listen - I'm blessed by that. Praise the Lord! once again, real life proof that a little time on your knees before your Creator can solve even the smallest things.

Friday, May 13, 2005

as a side note...

yeah on second thought, after spending 5 hours watching arguably the biggest chick flick ever, I feel the need to dig my hands into my car, get covered with motor oil, pull out a Stihl chainsaw and cut up some firewood, then build up a sweat chopping that wood with a fatty axe. To top it all off, go hunting with some guns. Then I can feel like I have reclaimed my manliness.

pride and predjudice is a long flipping movie

Wow. 5 hours of chick-flick. How in the world did I live through that? Maybe it was that i was watching it with a bunch of friends, laughing the whole time and making hilarious commentary. Either way, it was an experience not likely to be soon repeated, given the unbelieveable length that 5 straight hours is. Really. I mean, you thought Lord of the Rings: Return of the King Extended Edition was long at 4ish hours...at least that's got lots of killing, general pwning and elves, and for the girls, Legolas. Pride and Predjudice is flipping long, with no interesting "guy stuff" to hold my attention. I know, girls love it. Not that I disliked it either....it was just 5 hours. Holy cow. Well, at least it was better than one of the modern chick flicks like "A Cinderella Story" with Hillary Duff. Don't even get me started. I went to Matt's house the other day and his brother, a male model and manly man, was watching it. I was embarrassed for him! Oh well. Anyway, thats all I have for tonight. Insightful huh?

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

What a morning - God is so awesome, isn't he?

Oh man, what a blessed morning I've had. I got a blissful 8 hours of sleep (which was great) and I woke up and had an awesome time with the Lord, both in His Word and on my knees. After yesterday I'm just realizing more and more how awesome it is to have every effort on this earth be for God's glory, and how everything else just falls into place. After an awesome time in prayer with the Lord yesterday, I was able to just attack my day in a whole new light - it's amazingly refreshing. Man...if you don't know what it's like, ask me and I'll be happy to talk with you about it. Everything that used to be difficult, all the fears and insecurities that I used to face were just...gone. Jesus just lifted the burden from my back - and it was amazing. Praise the Lord for that...Praise the Lord. And I know today will be no different. I encourage everyone to try it!!

Monday, May 09, 2005

tee hee

it's 11pm and I am giddy with excitement. why? well you'll just have to IM me to find out.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

feel spiritual? read on...

Alright. So as previously mentioned, this weekend was an awesome time with not only my bro matt, God's creation and eating tasty fish, it was an awesome time with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I've been working through a lot of issues lately, mainly self-esteem and all that, plus life was just getting me down (as it does all of us at times) and I just had to get away. This trip really did that for me. Let me get out there and in the peace and quiet, seperate from all the junk that our materialistic world throws at us, be at peace with God and figure out exactly(as far as i can reckon it) what He wants me to do, who He wants me to be, and soforth. A great thing indeed. The logical following to this is, what did I learn? A great many things indeed. Getting out there was just a chance to see what grace, what love, what joy we can have in the Lord, and most definitely what grace, love and joy He has for us!!! It has been difficult the last few weeks to visualize that with all that's been going on. But that's what this weekend really taught me. When I get down, when I get frustrated with who I am - I've got to remember that in all reality, this world and all within are just a shadow of the truth, and that all judgements of men, all standards set by them are just that - standards of men! Is this what we should strive for? Should we strive or the praises of men, whose lives are "dust to dust" and "mist in the wind?" Why? The truth is, the opinions of men just don't matter!!! God's opinion, God's purpose for your life, and God's judgement is what matters. How quickly and easily in this world we can all fall victim to wanting to please men! It's natural. You and me both, we desire to please our peers, but in reality...it's irrelevant. We should strive for God's goals. Sounds simple, but it's hard to keep in mind. The amazing thing about it though, is that once we find ourselves really reaching for what God wants, and attaining what God wants, the approval of man, of our peers, will fall into place. Not to say that everyone on this earth will love you. Some will hate you for what you believe, and that is just the way the devil works on this earth. Man. Just typing this out makes me want to really reach for God's goals, God's approval, and to laugh in the face of mankind. Because who really cares about all that? Looks, money, power, fame - it's all gonna burn. What would you rather have on your tombstone? "He was a man who had God's heart" (a.k.a. King David) or "He was a great success among men." (a.k.a. Bill Gates) What would you rather be when you reach heaven and meet God face to face? What are you going to want Him to say? "Well done, good and faithful servant" or "Well, you made a lot of money...but what did you do for me?" I'd rather be the good and faithful servant. So that's what I'm striving for :) to be the good and faithful servant, concerned about not only the heavenly matters, but the heavenly ATTITUDE. Not just thinking about the eternal, but focusing on being yourself in God's eyes - being who he made you to be! Not to conform to what this world wants. Not to buy the abercrombie clothes because they are in style, but to reject them because their catalogue is glorified soft-core porn (i'll rant on that later...yeah I vow never to wear A&F.) But also when someone doesn't accept you for who you are, to just realize that they are simply missing out on what a great person you are in Christ. Not what a great person you are in comparison to the world's standards, for that does not matter. What matters is who you are in Christ, the rest will fall in line later. Regardless, this is the new attitude I plan to adopt, and I hope after reading this, you might also feel this way. And to cap it all off - I'm tired. So I think i'm going to collapse into bed, it's been a long but awesome weekend. Keep it real folks...keep it real.

This weekend in short...

So this weekend was a time of facing challenges and definitely getting a new perspective on things. It's been difficult the last few weeks I'll tell ya. But anyway, more about that in my next post. This weekend was awesome. On a whim I was able to go camping/fishing up on Mt. Hood with my roomate & close bro matt. It was a sweet time! We got to fish all day and sleep for long hours at night...eat our tasty fish goodness saturday night and really get a chance to see God's beauty at Harriet Lake, and just bask in His presence! It is such a blessing from the Lord that I could go. I even threw in some pictures for you! P.S. - do all blog thingys have issues!? I can't upload the pictures correctly even with all their fancy gadgets - so i did it the old fashioned way, OSU FTP! wewt.

our catch!:

our camp:

fryin' fish!:

matt, big pimpin' as usual:

me throwin' on a bit more johnnys:

A story i wrote...

alright. this is a story i wrote about 2 weeks ago, just on a whim. hope you like it...and post comments because now you can!

The Playing Field:
Imagine in your mind, a man, wearing simple jeans and t-shirt, standing with his arms upon a chain link fence, staring forlornly out across a basefall field. The grass is green and lush, and the players on the team dash back and forth, throwing the ball, practicing their swing, playing catch. He sighs, and in his heart, wishes he could join the players, but knows that it isn't time.
Again, later, the same man, finally in a practice uniform. He's in the locker room, suiting up with the guys, joking, getting pumped up for the coming game. He rushes out onto the field, excited for a chance to finally play, but as he runs eagerly to the field, he is stopped by the coach before his feet can touch the beautiful green grass, and he is delegated to "warming the bench." Again, a sigh echoes from his heart...his desire is to play, to enjoy the gift that has been given to him from God. He glances longingly at the players as they prepare, yet he is only one step closer, not yet accepted into the brotherhood.
Finally, he's called to play! Will he make or break the game? Is it time for him to shine? He thinks to himself, it is the time...it is the chance to make it big, to show that he too, can play. Bottom of the ninth, 2 outs, and the game is tied... he is up to bat. Swing one...strike. swing two...steerike! swing three...the ball glides into the mitt of the catcher, and the soft crack of leather upon leather signifies his defeat, in his moment of glory. Dejected, the bat slides from his hands as he falls on his knees, crying out in frustration to the Lord above. "Why Lord? Why must I fight through this, struggle day in and day out to achieve what I desire, and I know you desire for me? What must I do?"
As time continues, he practices day in and day out. Focusing on school only when necessary, he spends each free moment throwing, running, swinging. Determination is the name of his game. When he is done, his hands are hardened from the rough maplewood on his fingers, the smell of leather constantly on his catching hand, his pitching fingers permenantly curved as if gripping a baseball. He is ready.
As the season continues, despite his training, his devotion, his wholehearted effort, he continues to warm the bench, to watch and wait as the world seems to pass him by, day by day. Surrounded by his teammates, he cannot but wonder why he would ever get a chance. Dejected, he begins to contemplate all that they have and he does not. They are better runners, throwers, batters. What does he have but heart, dedication and a desire to reach for the best? Heart doesn't matter without skill in this world. Pain grips his soul as he realizes the truth - that the world does not want his kind. The world wants the stars, the bright, shining sons who could send a ball into orbit.
Again, he sinks to his knees, beaten in the knowledge that this world is not for him. "Father" he cries...."What must I do? Who can I turn to but You? Hear my words Father - you made me in your image Lord...you made me to be all I can be. What is this place I call home...why must it be this way?" By now, his knees are digging into the dirt in the dugout as he lifts his hands in the air. "Lord...show me Your way...show me what You want me to chase after...show me Your heart, Your desires. For You know the desires of my heart."
He rises, and again slides onto the pinewood bench, feeling it's familiar grain, knowing it well. For he has seen the seasons pass, the team change, the practices so numerous that they cannot be remembered nor counted. IN quiet protest, he tosses his mitt to the ground as he exits the field, leaving behind a plume of dust, signifying defeat.
Again he has returned to his former posistion...watching quietly from the fence...seeing the pitcher throw, watching the runners run, and the batters swing. A sigh, all too familiar, again wells up from his soul. But in his heart, he feels differently. Reaching again into his bag, he pulls out his mitt. Worn and faded, laces loose, the pocket scarred from years of use, he stares at it, remembering what he has seen and done, what he has given up to be all that the world wants him to be, all the pain he has endured only to see the world turn it's back on him. The memories flood back as he realizes that he has wasted many hours, days, weeks, months...even years upon this field that holds nothing for him anymore. The excitement is gone, the desire for what it offers have faded into the distance, nay, they seem mere wisps upon his synapses.
He turns his back on the field for one last time. Not to return tomorrow, not to long for it's lures and desires again. No longer to find comfort in the feel of the glove, to find purpose in the power of the bat, to find focus in the curvature of the ball. Behind he leaves a field of broken dreams, of worldly desires crushed, situated in a place in which he does not belong, and never has.
He feels a stirring in his heart, something he has felt ever since he first stood at the edge of the field long ago, something he knew was true, was right, was the answer. But before now, he had never felt it so strongly, and suddenly his heart was filled with the desire to run home. He ran for blocks upon blocks, passing streets with names he had not seen for years, with houses that suddenly became wonderful memories of childhood, of playing in the streets. Finally, he arrived at a place he called home.
Everything was in the same place. The grass was it's luminescent shade of green, the house freshly painted, the windows still open, inviting. But as he crossed the front steps, a fear gripped his heart. It has been so long since he had been home! Would he be accepted? Would he be remembered? Or would he be turned away, never again to know the love and joy he had once felt? At this he almost turned away, but felt the desire to knock even more upon his heart.
Facing his fears, he reached up, slowly at first, but then with more determination and desire to conquer his fear. His fist hesitated, but, with a stern look on his face, he rapped a quick three knocks on the door, then stepped back with a repentant look on his face. While it seemed like an eternity, not but a second had passed and the door opened, and his eyes flew open wide.
Quickly he found himself fully embraced in the largest bear hug he could remember, his Father's arms. A flood of memories came rushing back to him, smells, sights, feelings that he had not felt for years. The soft, yet strong feeling of his Father's hands, rough from each day's hard work, yet smooth and comfortable from his play with His children at all hours of the day. The tough smell of freshly cut wood, refreshing in it's own way, reminding of the grace shown each day as he pushed through life with his Father's help. And the smile is what finally broke his heart. Wide as you can imagine, toothy and hearty all in one, it came accompanied by the words "My son, you have returned home. Welcome, enter and rest, for you are weary of heart." A torrent of tears flowed from his eyes as he buried his head in his Father's beard, managing to cry out "But I have been away so long from you Father, how can you accept me again?" His Father's reply was simple and strong, comforting as He said "My son, you are always welcome, no matter what you have done or what you have yet do to. My arms are open wide, all you must do is knock at the door, and I will welcome you home. Come inside, and relive again in your true home, and strive not for the pleasures of this world, but for the joy of the Lord." As the tears continued to flow, the pair entered through the door, and he finally knew he was home, home with his Father.


So. I was all set up on Xanga and all that...but realized that my friends can't post comments unless they are members!! What a joke! Forget that trash. So I moved over here to www.blogger.com. I encourage you all to post loads of comments, laugh at me, whatever. Anyway, more to come in a bit.